Last Updated on February 18, 2023
In an attempt to kill the planet a little slower, me and Emma only have one car between us now, which works out fine with me working from home, but yesterday Emma was out playing in the mud (well, gardening really) so I was stranded at home with cuboards that even old mother Hubbard would have exclaimed, “fookin ‘ell, where’s all the fookin food yah chunts”. Well she might have said it like that if she was from a Newcastle housing estate. So I had to call my little sister to the rescue, who kindly drove me to Sainsbollocks. She was almost as much of a shopping killjoy as Emma is, she took Emma’s list and didn’t let me vary from it at all (with £30 bottles of single malt and army surplus size sacks of chocolate). The shopping came in well under budget, so not wanting to dissapoint Emma’s low expectations of me and shopping trips I used the change to buy the Goonies on dvd.
After working all day on a new site for a client (with underwater cameras and stuff, really cool!) the missus and I reclined in the lounge for an evening of reminisant joy with the Goonies. Now I only vaugely remember this film and the last time I saw it was at a night they have at the local cinema where they show old films. These nights are really cool, it’s like being 7 years old and watching a film with 200 exciteable mates, and boy are they exciteable! We saw gremlins a few months back and the view of the screen was partially obscured by about 100 stuffed Gizmos being waved above excited little heads! The funniest aspect of these classic films nights is that they show the original prints of the film! So watching a film that’s more than 20 years old is interesting to say the least! When the Goonies started the film wasn’t even on the projector correctly, we could see half the film, whilst the other half of the screen was taken up by the wee holes at the edge of the celluloid whizzing by and a giant white space that looked prime territory for some crude shadow puppets. After a few minutes whoever the projectionist was woke up and wrestled the film back on track. The rest of the film had so many bits missing and broke down so many times you’d think freddy kruger has been in charge of retrieving this flm from storage. Storage (it has to be said) that must have been in someones basement underneath old cat litter or something judging by the ‘quality’ of the film before us! Far from annoying the punters the shocking poor quality of the screening only seemed to add to the character of the evening, in fact a huge cheer went up every time the dubbing slipped, portions ran in slow motion or when a huge chunk of the film simply dissapeared!
Ah crap, I’ve just realised how long I’ve been writing this, so there will be no conclusion as I have to go outside now and attempt to light the barbeque in a force 9 gale with a gallon of 4star petrol. I’ll see you tomorow, unless I become this generation’s Simon Weston! Pah, I’ll see you whatever, and with photos, cos chick dig scars right?