This is Goffy the Seagull, he is from Coventry.
Goffy was just ten years old when his cousin Patrick snuck him into The Heath Hotel, in Coventry, to watch The Specials. The Specials had not played in public before and Goffy wanted to see them because at age ten he wanted to be a policeman. By the time Goffy was age 15 he decided he preferred The Beat.
Goffy doesn’t like it when people tell him that seagulls do not exist. Some people tell Goffy that there are no seagulls, only gulls that live near the sea. He does not like pedants. Goffy is comfortable with his identity.
Goffy did not become a policeman.
Six months ago Goffy found out that the endowment mortgage policy that he has been paying into for thirty years won’t cover the final payment due on the two bedroom terrace house he shares with his elderly mother.
Goffy is very worried about a doctor’s appointment he has on Thursday morning.
Three years ago Patrick had a stroke while playing snooker. Patrick died. Goffy misses his cousin very much.
Last Updated on February 18, 2023
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