Originally published in Beat Motel zine issue #1 many, many years ago.
The Replacements Lyrics are some of the best lyrics I have ever heard. They appeal to me because above all they have a great humour to them, in an almost English way though a lot of the lyrics seem quite tinged with sadness. In fact in most Replacements songs there seems to be quite a depressive undercurrent. By their own admission the Replacements described themselves as ‘alcoholics in check shirts’.
I only got into The Replacements in the last few years (starting around 2001) so I never had the pleasure of seeing them while they were still an active band. This has given them an almost instantly legendary status in my mind, I did originally assume the only information I can gather about them had been exaggerated to make it sound better, but unlike many of their contemporaries the stories are true! I won’t go into any of them here but if you ever have the joy to meet other Replacements fans you can talk the night away exchanging tales you have heard about this fantastic band. Another reason I think I didn’t find out about them for years is that over here in the UK they never really broke through like they did in the USA. As I mentioned earlier the lyrics are one of the great strong arms of this band,
Paul Westerberg employs several tricks the most common of which is slightly changing a commonly known phase, hell they even did that with the title of an album! I’ve chosen the lyrics below party because they are the ones freshest in my mind at the moment and because they are a nice mix of clever, funny and poignant. My top ten are only my current favourites, it changes daily!
Andrew Culture…
1. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting drunk
(Asking me lies)
2. How old am I? Let’s count the rings around my eyes
(I will dare)
3. Ashtray floor, dirty clothes and filthy jokes
(Can t hardly wait)
4. I hate music, it’s got too many notes
(I hate music)
5. Feelin’ good from the pills we took, oh baby don’t give me that look
(Talent Show)
6. Put the party on the mirror
(Colour me impressed)
7. Get this over with, I tee off in an hour
(Tommy gets his tonsils out)
8. Gary’s got a soft-on
(Gary’s got a boner)
9. Jesus rides beside me, he never buys any smokes (can’t hardly wait)
10.Eight dollars and fifteen cents, I bought a headache
(I bought a headache)
I also asked a couple of members of LoveJunk for lists:
Mickey LoveFlagRist…
1. God, what a mess, on the ladder of success Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung
(Bastards Of Young)
2. The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest
And visit their graves on holidays at best The ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please If it’s any consolation, I don’t begin to understand them
(Bastards Of Young)
3. And even if you’re in the arms of someone’s baby now I drink a great big whiskey to you anyway
(Here Comes A Regular)
4. I’ll write you a letter tomorrow Tonight I can’t hold a pen
(Can t Hardly Wait)
5. I hate music Sometimes I don’t I hate music It’s got too many notes
(I Hate Music)
6. Hey, Merle, I was wonderin’… if ya had any ‘ludes on ya?
(Dope Smokin Moron)
7. Well, I walked out of work And I was tired as hell Another day’s come and gone and oh well Somewhere there’s a drink with my name on it
(If Only You Were Lonely)
8. How do you say I miss you to An answering machine?
How do you say good night to An answering machine?
How do you say I’m lonely to An answering machine?
(Answering Machine)
9. Twenty push-ups this morning,
that was half my goal Tonight I’ll be doin’ pull-ups On the toilet bowl
(If Only You Were Lonely)
10. Pretty girl keep growin’ up, playin’ make-up, wearin’ guitar Growin’ old in a bar, ya grow old in a bar
(Left Of The Dial)
Tard (Wolfie)
1. I hate music, sometimes I don’t, I hate music, it s got too many notes.
Tommy says so, so, so, so what?
(I Hate Music)
2. Big town’s got its losers, small town s got
its vices,
A handful of friends, one
needs a match and one
needs some ice
(Answering Machine)
3. Yeah, I know I look like hell,
But I m smoking and I m drinking and I m feeling swell
(Favorite Thing)
4. I can live without your touch,
But I’ll die within your reach
(Within Your Reach)
5. A person can work up a mean mean thirst,
After a hard day of nothing much at all
(Here Comes A Regular)
6. If you were a pill I d take a handful at my will,
And I d knock you back with something sweet and strong
(Valentine)
7. If being afraid is a crime we hang side by side,
At the swingin’ party down the line
(Swingin’ Party)
8. Ain’t lost yet so I gotta be a winner,
Fingernails and cigarettes a lousy dinner
( I Will Dare)
9. First thing we do when we finally pull up,
Is get shit-faced drunk and try to sober up
(Treatment Bound)
10.Six o clock, batten the hatches,
We got cigarettes but we ain’t got no matches
(More Cigarettes)
Last Updated on February 18, 2023
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