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Chav Jokes

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Crap Towns II:
The Nation Decides

Chav seems to have suddenly become a national obsession. The term has always existed with some kind of regeonal variation for years. Other version of the word include pikey, jakey and ned. The popularity of the word Chav is probably thanks to the mass media we have in the UK, they have a certain knack for uniting the country in such daft unimportant matters! Anyway, I've done the decent thing and collated all the Chav jokes that aren't too offensive and put them all on this page for you. Typically a lot of the jokes are just recycled scouse jokes, so I've tried to only put up original jokes.

If you are still not sure what a Chav is then check out the definative site here - http://www.chavscum.co.uk/ It has such informative articles such as 'How to Spot a Chav', an article on 'chav culture', and even a section on celebrity chavs!

What do u call a chav in a suit?...
The accused!

What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

where do you take your chavette girlfriend for a nice night out?
Up the gary

two chavs are in a car, and no music is playing. Who's driving?
the police

Two chavs jump off a cliff. Who wins?
Society

What do you call a chav tart in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

whats the similarity between a chav and a slinky:
there is lots of fun to be had watchin them fall down a steep set of stairs

If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"

How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

What's the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of york only had ten thousand men...

The Government have approached the Chav's to ask them if they would like ( on joining a single currency with europe) to have the currency of the country renamed.
The Chav's have replied that they prefer to keep is as the Giro

What do you say to a chav at the peak of their career?
"Big Mac and fries please"

What did the little chav say to the big chav?
"Can you get served?"

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in
tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the
gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big
Chavster. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow
job?" he whispers. At this, the Chav leaps up with fire
in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
him badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing
had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer.
"I've never seen you react like that" he says "Just what did he say to
you?" "I'm not sure" the Chav replies. "Something about a job."

What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.

How does a chav girl turn the lights off after sex?
She closes the car door.

What's the difference between a battery and a chav?
A battery has a positive side

Why couldn't the chav finish a race?
He was only good at startin!

Chav Links